V A K O G  is an abbreviation and one I’d like you to remember as it could be the formula for the most exciting changes you can make in your life and your ability to communicate and be communicated with “effectively”!

It stands for Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, Olfactory, Gustatory and I’ll help you make more sense of it, what it means and why it’s so important to know and understand.

It is basically the “modality” or preferred system of communication that an individual will use to process information and to relate that information back to you.

For example, someone who thinks of things in terms of pictures or moving images is primarily a visual person and the modality that they use would be Visual.

A person who thinks in terms of sounds and words is primarily an auditory person and the modality that they use would be Auditory.

A person who thinks in terms of feelings and emotions is primarily a Kinesthetic person and the modality they use would be Kinesthetic.

Not quite as important and not used as much in everyday communication but still worth mentioning is a person who will think in terms of aromas, maybe someone like a wine taster or perfume sales person for instance and their preferred modality would be Olfactory.

And again not quite used in everyday communication is the person who thinks in taste, such as a chef or wine taster and their preferred modality would be Gustatory.

All well and good I hear you say but what the heck does that have to with me and why is it so important.

Here’s an example.

If you were primarily a visual person and therefore all your thought processes were in images and moving pictures and you were trying to get across a message to a person who might be primarily kinesthetic and thought in terms of feelings and emotions what kind of conflict do you think that might create?

A visual person by the very fact that they think in pictures and moving images will tend to speak very quickly and breathe shallowly and quickly from the top of their chests and will process information very quickly.

A kinesthetic person by contrast will think in terms of emotions and feelings and will therefore by proxy internalize their feelings and process their responses internally before responding, a much slower process than a visual person, they also tend to breathe deeply into their tummies and speak at a slower pace.

Does this now start to make a little more sense; do you see where we’re heading with this?

Let me elaborate.

A visual person by his very nature will expect an immediate response and will use words like “can you see what I’m saying”?

Of course the kinesthetic person can’t “SEE” what the other person is saying as they are not thinking in pictures and images; they’re using their feelings and emotions and therefore will be slower to respond.

If you as the visual person were to recognize these signs, how powerful do you think you could become at communicating, assertively and confidently.

Using words like “can you feel what I’m saying” you immediately send them a message in their own “feedback sandwich” using terms that they can understand and equate to.

By the same token, if the other person is primarily auditory and thinking and processing in sounds and words, by simply changing your speech patterns and asking “can you hear what I’m saying” you are again communicating in THEIR language and their unconscious mind can then process the information you are giving them in their “own language”.

An auditory person will breathe from the middle of their chests and will think about something and analyse it before responding.

Learning to recognize and understand these signs and “modalities” are a very powerful way of increasing your understanding of human nature and the way that individuals operate, and are a fantastic TOOL that you can use.

Clues to watch out for are in speech patterns.

What kind of words are the people in your office using?

Visual:  Look, picture, focus, imagination, insight, scene, blank, visualize, perspective, shine, reflect, clarify, examine, eye, focus, notice, watch.

Auditory: Say, accent, rhythm, loud, tone, resonate, sound, monotonous, deaf, ring, shout, remark, listen, speechless, vocal, silence, shrill, quiet.

Kinesthetic: Touch, handle, contact, push, rub, solid, warm, cold, rough, tackle, push, pressure, sensitive, stress, tension, touch, gentle.

Olfactory: Scented, stale, fishy, nosy, fragrant, smoky, fresh.

Gustatory: Sour, flavour, bitter, taste, fishy, salty, juicy, sweet.

Don’t be afraid to experiment and have fun, create some games with your colleagues and guess what kind of “modality” they are.

Then spend a morning conversing with each other in the correct modalities for each other and see what kind of effect it can create and how it can make a huge difference in the way that messages are “sent” and “received”.

Of course all this is a very simplistic way of presenting this and there is obviously a lot to be learned that can only be taught in a controlled and fun environment, but this is a start and will initiate your thought processes and at the very least it will give you a much deeper understanding of the power of speech and the effect it can or can’t have.

All these exercise and much more can be experienced firsthand by booking Garth Delikan, The Lifestyle Guy where all these principles and techniques will be taught to you and your department in a fun role play situation where you will gain a greater understanding of everything covered in this article.

Introduction:

Over the ensuing months we are going to cover in detail all the nuances of what I call “Confident Life Skills” or being able to communicate in a much more positive and effective manner with the people in your life, whether it be work colleagues, including management, your friends, or just everyday people that you encounter.

People give off signals all the time, and knowing how to recognize those signals is a very important part of the process we are going to cover.

All my life I’ve always worked in some form of managerial role or other which has meant a great deal of interaction with other people at various levels and being able to communicate effectively with them all, but it has never ceased to amaze me how many people actually sell themselves short without actually realizing that they are doing it by being unable to get their viewpoint across successfully and effectively.

A lot of people think that by being “aggressive” or “forceful” that they will impart their personality or viewpoint on another individual but are then surprised to find that it has the opposite effect!

And don’t forget being “aggressive” doesn’t necessarily mean being physically violent. So much can be learned by taking a step back and having a look at how your actions impact on another person or other people and once you can “sense and feel” what you are doing it will make a huge difference in how you project yourself.

Part of being able to get on in life and to be able to cope with things in an effective manner is in your perception of other people and in the way that other people perceive you.

You’ve all heard how most people tend to make a judgement of someone within the first 10 seconds and that first impression is the first and most important impression you can make.

So, ask yourself, if that’s the case and people are making such “instant” judgements what are other people thinking of me, and just as importantly what kind of impression am I making on the people that matter?

What can I do about it and is there in fact, anything I can do about it?

Well the good news is YES, there is an awful lot you can do about but it is something that you will have to work on and depending on how badly you want to progress at work or in your life it’s the effort you put in that counts.

So why do people make such instant decisions and how are they able to do this?

Well did you know that 55% of any communication is “physical” and includes facial expressions, gestures and body language and all these signals are being given out “unconsciously” so we are not even aware most of the time that we are even sending them out as they have become part of our everyday make up and habit.

38% of any communication is “the tone of voice” which means that people are listening to the tonality of what you are saying as opposed to “hearing your words”! So it’s very important to be confident in how you project your voice as well as your physical body as it all part of the same package. Strong positive body language coupled with a great speaking voice will always convey an air of confidence and authority.

7% of a communication is based only on the words that you use!

Now this is an incredible important bit of news because it means that just because you think the words you are using are important, they actually aren’t, and are having very little impact on what you are saying and the information or message you’re trying to get across.

It’s the way you say it and the way that you project it that’s important!

But the good news is that all habits are learned and all these little “signals” that we give out have been learned over a period of time and logic therefore tells you that “new habits” can be learned just as effectively and be put to better use and thereby cancelling out any of the old habits that you would like to change or improve.

So on the physical side what are we talking about here?

Slouched shoulders, nervous gestures, the wrong clothes, the incorrect accessories, facial expressions, nervous twitching, wrangling of hands, getting too close to people and invading their “personal space” too quickly without being invited in. (We will cover this subject in more depth at a later date).

Always check to see how others are responding to you and correct yourself correspondingly.

Always stand tall, shoulders back, chest high, tummy tucked in. Try to imagine an invisible golden thread that travels from the base of your spine up your backbone and out the top of your head. Not only does this improve your appearance immediately but it will also help you to breathe more easily and therefore look more relaxed, it also gives you an immediate look of authority, try it and see. If having an interview always try to breathe evenly and slowly.

When seated try not to slouch. Again this not only improves your posture and your circulation it will also help you to feel more alert and will help you to feel more in charge.

Try not to fidget!

Smile openly when appropriate and always try to listen before you impart any viewpoint of your own. Not only will this make you look and sound more considerate it’s also polite and people appreciate politeness and someone listening to their viewpoint.

Try to evaluate what is being said before “jumping” in with your opinion and always let someone finish what they are saying first.

And if in doubt to the meaning of anything, ask!

Be aware of the “tone” of your voice. Speak clearly and legibly and don’t try and speak too quickly (a common mistake when feeling slightly nervous).

Be animated in your speech and try to add an “inflection” to punctuate important points in what you are saying, injecting humour in conversation is always a good idea as long as it’s appropriate.

Listen to the words of the other person and always try to pronunciate clearly when you are speaking without sounding robotic, as again too many people mutter or speak too quickly or in too high a tone when feeling nervous or awkward.

Be in control and aware of your own body language and speech patterns and keep them under control “naturally and easily” and you’ll be amazed at the effect it will have.

These intrinsic skills can make such a difference to your professional and personal life you’ll wonder why they’re not taught in school.

All these exercise and much more can be experienced firsthand by booking Garth Delikan, The Lifestyle Guy where all these principles and techniques will be taught to you and your department in a fun role play situation where you will gain a greater understanding of everything covered in this article.

Create your own outcomes in life by using the power of your own breath!

Power breathing coupled with powerful visualisation techniques are the ultimate way to gain the lifestyle and state of mind you desire at almost a “flick of the switch”!

Here Garth Delikan talks you through his favourite power breathing techniques.

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Stress is a funny old thing and can arise from any kind of thought or situation that makes you feel frustrated, angry or anxious.

However, stress really is an inevitable part of life and in small quantities it can be incredibly motivating, empowering and productive.

But as we all know too much stress can have the opposite effect completely and can undermine your health, make you feel ill and leave you susceptible to infection, heart disease or even depression, all those things we really don’t want in our lives.

You don’t need me to tell you but isn’t it horrible how habitual and persistent feelings of stress and anxiety can interfere in the way you live your life. When we are anxious or afraid (fight or flee syndrome) our bodies produce adrenaline so that we can react instantly to any given situation, however, if we do neither, fight or flee,  but remain in a constant state of anxiety the adrenaline still keeps pumping through our bodies  and builds up tension to an unbearable point!

Why exercise helps

We all know how good exercise can be to help to alleviate stress and anxiety and can help to reduce those feelings before they actually turn into depression or something even more serious like an incapacitating illness. The release of those wonderful feel good endorphins decrease tension and lift and stabilize those mood swings and improves sleep which is an added bonus.

Stress and anxiety also has a strange way of making you feel helpless and at the mercy of external forces but exercise and feeling good is empowering and it’s very important to find an exercise that suits you, your personality and your lifestyle. That way you’re more than likely to keep at it!

How often?

It makes sense to try and exercise for about 30 minutes three to five times a week if you can manage it. If you like running, aim for 3-5 miles without stopping, or if you can’t run that far, try running 100 yards and then walking 100 yards alternatively.

Circuit training should also be done around 2 to 4 times a week as part of your weekly training programme with a day off in between to rest, recuperate and mend, which is incredibly important.

On rest days if you feel like it, walk for 30 minutes. Try to set yourself small daily goals and focus on consistency rather than perfection as it’s important NOT to turn your exercise sessions into a stress test or a guilt trip.

It’s much better to take a regular walk for 15-20 minutes than to wait until the weekend for a three hour marathon session that will kill you off in the process and certainly de-motivate you.

Enjoy your exercise and have fun, remember life is for living!

Best wishes Garth

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